Because I don't want to forget to tell you...

Dear Andrew,

I've thought about writing to you many times before, I've just never made myself sit down to do it. I'm not really sure how to start, so I'm just going to reach my hand into my jar of thoughts and see what I pull out. So here it goes...imperfectly.

This afternoon I had to negotiate with you for a while to get you to remove the two blue produce rubber bands you placed on each of your legs. Your calves and feet were starting to turn slightly grayish/purple but you insisted you were wearing them to bed. Of course I made you take them off, convincing you that you'd wake up without your feet which meant you would not longer be able to wear your crocs. That got through to you.

You don't take "because I said so" as an answer. You must have a full blown explanation. You soak up every detail and seem much more satisfied and compliant when we take the extra time to fully explain something to you. You take after you mommy that way. It is fun for me watching you file away every detail and I'm learning things too. Like why bats sleep upside down, how pistils are sticky, and how to spell Kumquat. You think I am "so smart" and I suppose we all are at this point in our lives thanks to Google.

Currently you are loving homemade Popsicles, napping in my bed, playing the Memory Game and Go Fish, dancing to "mommy's music", singing to "Andrew's music", croissants, and story telling. There are no words to capture your facial expressions while you spin a tale. You've developed an art of storytelling all your own. You take after your Daddy that way.

You think every African-American male in a suit and tie is President Obama. Today we saw him both in Target and at the Post Office. It was an exciting day.

You are completely obsessed with keeping "God's earth clean." So much in fact, that I've had to explain to you why we need to leave the chewed up gum in the parking lot and the used band aid on the YMCA bathroom floor. The other day you spilled your cherry tomatoes on the kitchen floor and frantically picked them all up declaring you were keeping God's earth clean.
But you LOVE eating apples in the car, just so we can throw the core out the window to feed the ants.

We count school buses every time we are on the road. So far you and your Daddy have the record of 21 on a trip to Home Depot. I am still skeptical. We've only ever gotten to 13.

Like your Daddy, you could talk the ear off a chicken. You make friends with just about everyone you meet, coaxing a smile out of the grumpiest of strangers.

I never knew that a three year old could grasp the concept of sarcasm, but you've nailed it. It all started with a comment made to a woman at Publix you thought looked like Ms. Viola Swamp. You called her a witch. We talked about what gentlemen say and don't say and I explained a better choice would have been to say that she was beautiful just the way God made her. The next day at the Post Office there was a woman in a ridiculous ensemble that reminded me of a cross between Rue Paul and the Easter Bunny had he thrown up yellow daises. I froze with anxiety because I could feel you biting your tongue. You proclaimed for the duration of our visit that she was "So beautiful!" and "You loved her flower earrings!" and "Beautiful Pink girl shoes!" and "sparkly flower belt!" The entire place was chuckling. I was too but for a very different reason.

And so now every time you tell me I'm beautiful, I wonder...

You love to take pictures, draw smiley faces, and spell words in sign language.

You've been a good sport through the crazy transition phase that we have been in with packing and moving. You get your frustration out through acts of defiance and a little sassiness, but overall you are rolling with it better than your Mommy and Daddy are. We are both learning quite a bit from you. How to quickly forgive, let go, and move on.

Soon you will be wearing the badge of big brother and I'd like to think you are looking forward to this promotion. My heart smiles each time I hear you say, "Mommy! I still love the baby in your tummy!" This is such a sweet moment for me although I wonder what are you conditions? When will the "still" change to permanence or disappear?

If it is a girl, you want to name her Cinderella. If it is a boy, you want to name him Clifford. You are so proud in your prediction of the sex, announcing nobly to strangers, "I bet it is going to be a boy or a girl." Or, "I don't know what it is going to be but GOD KNOWS!!!!"

You have started a stock pile of donations for the new baby. Blankets, stuffed animals, books, and today you wanted to add a bag of marbles. You then thought better of it, acknowledging if Baby Silas couldn't have marbles than maybe your baby shouldn't either.

I thought for sure you gave up your naps last week. Probably just another showing of stress through this transition. Currently you are in your third hour of nap today, and for this I am thankful. I still need naps too.

This is a bitter-sweet time for us. Just as it was a bitter-sweet time when we had you. Saying good bye to a life that was and wondering what was to come. It is silly for me to look back and think that I was hesitant to let go of it just being your Dad and I. I can't imagine our life without you. And yet I find myself in the same place as we await the new baby. I know we will all be better for it.

You've enriched our lives and our spirit and our Faith in countless ways. Personally, you've shown me what unconditional love is, what it feels like to give it, receive it, and share it. This has strengthened my faith in the biggest way, knowing that the Lord feels for me what I feel for you, only ten-fold. Most importantly, the Lord feels for you what I feel for you, only ten-fold. For this I am thankful beyond words. It allows me the freedom to not worry and to simply enjoy you.

Enjoy you, I do. You are such a joy. Every single bit of you.
I love you with all of my heart and I just wanted you to know that.
Love,
Mommy