Dear Mr. President

Dear Mr. President,

It is to my understanding that as part of your responsibilities as president, you are the commander and chief of our Armed Forces. I know you must be extremely busy with the war in Iraq and all of the other conflicts we are involved in, but I was wondering if I could ask you a favor? Can you please contact the local Air Force base here in my home town and ask them to reschedule their fighter training?

You see, Sir, almost everyday around the hours of 1:00pm-3:00pm, the thunderous engines charging forth into the wild blue yonder are disturbing my son's nap. Under normal circumstances I would never bother you with such a tedious request. However, I am in the process of writing out some invitations to our first wine party, I have chicken stew simmering on the stove, I have got to get some laundry done, I have got to finish the book I am reading, and don't even get me started on how badly our floors are in need of a good scrubbing. I count on this nap time each day and all week long it has been interrupted. It really is a bit ridiculous and I am on my last nerve, Sir.

If it is too much to ask of you to fulfill this simple request, I am open for other options including a monthly allowance for a cook, maid, and masseuse. Whatever you have time for. After all, I can imagine how much running around you must be doing as you prepare for your "retirement." Thank you for your time and I look forward to your response.

Sincerely,
Mrs. B