Oh yes I can.
At least I think I can. Nope, I don't think I can. The harder I try, the more I fail. Let me elaborate...
(Here's to another personal post...click on the big red X in the upper right hand corner of your screen if you were hoping for more pictures of Baby, or if you really thought this post was about cake...on second thought, for you cake lovers, here is a recipe for a very yummy cake. )
A little dirty laundry: We've been in disarray literally and figuratively for the past 6 months as we have bounced from house to house. I have found myself complaining about my long days at home with baby. I have found myself complaining about the never ending house work here and abroad. I have found myself complaining about the many hours and Saturday's without Mr. B here while he was working on his other homes. I have found myself complaining about how my house isn't big enough, clean enough, bright enough, new enough...
I am going through a bible study that I did when I was pregnant with Baby Boudreaux. This week's chapter was on worry. I was reading the answers to my questions and I felt very convicted... Here is question and my answer from March 22, 2006:
10. Think of a difficult situation in your life right now. Will Write a prayer in the space below, telling God that you want to focus your eyes on His character and that you want to live, not by your feelings, but "by faith."
(Note: * I had my prayer typed here, but decided it was too personal. I'll sum it up for you....it was all about being able to stay home, our finances, our housing situation, having enough money for me to stay home, work for Mr. B, and a healthy baby.)
As I read my answer I felt like I punched in the stomach and couldn't catch my breath. Never before have I been so convicted of my poor attitude and sin. All of the things I have been complaining about, are an exact answer to my prayer. All of the things I detest and "bah-humbug" my way through each day, I prayed for. Maybe not directly, but even still I prayed for them. I have realized the more I try to fight my circumstances, the more they consume me.I have realized that I am a victim of my own poor attitude and ungrateful heart than I am of circumstance. This is very freeing, you see. I have much forgiveness to seek, especially from my husband. The Lord does answer prayers, and I am so thankful for His faithfulness.
At least I think I can. Nope, I don't think I can. The harder I try, the more I fail. Let me elaborate...
(Here's to another personal post...click on the big red X in the upper right hand corner of your screen if you were hoping for more pictures of Baby, or if you really thought this post was about cake...on second thought, for you cake lovers, here is a recipe for a very yummy cake. )
A little dirty laundry: We've been in disarray literally and figuratively for the past 6 months as we have bounced from house to house. I have found myself complaining about my long days at home with baby. I have found myself complaining about the never ending house work here and abroad. I have found myself complaining about the many hours and Saturday's without Mr. B here while he was working on his other homes. I have found myself complaining about how my house isn't big enough, clean enough, bright enough, new enough...
I am going through a bible study that I did when I was pregnant with Baby Boudreaux. This week's chapter was on worry. I was reading the answers to my questions and I felt very convicted... Here is question and my answer from March 22, 2006:
10. Think of a difficult situation in your life right now. Will Write a prayer in the space below, telling God that you want to focus your eyes on His character and that you want to live, not by your feelings, but "by faith."
(Note: * I had my prayer typed here, but decided it was too personal. I'll sum it up for you....it was all about being able to stay home, our finances, our housing situation, having enough money for me to stay home, work for Mr. B, and a healthy baby.)
As I read my answer I felt like I punched in the stomach and couldn't catch my breath. Never before have I been so convicted of my poor attitude and sin. All of the things I have been complaining about, are an exact answer to my prayer. All of the things I detest and "bah-humbug" my way through each day, I prayed for. Maybe not directly, but even still I prayed for them. I have realized the more I try to fight my circumstances, the more they consume me.I have realized that I am a victim of my own poor attitude and ungrateful heart than I am of circumstance. This is very freeing, you see. I have much forgiveness to seek, especially from my husband. The Lord does answer prayers, and I am so thankful for His faithfulness.
3 comments:
You are very honest, but don't be too hard on yourself... for those things that we want so badly can very well be difficult to manage. Just because something is wanted doesn't mean it will be ever-pleasing... nothing comes without hurdles.
Thinking of you :)
Thank you so much for your honesty and encouragement. I needed this tonight.
Struggling & praying & seeking at the same time...
Stacy
This hit me...I find myself complaining about all sorts of things and at night I let the Lord know how thankful I am for all the things in my life..but I really need to work on having a more positive attitude. Especially for my family, my attitude can determine our entire day.
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